How I Lost Myself in Search of Money

Freeing yourself from a soul-sucking job is a challenge when poverty is all you’ve ever known

John Pucay
LEVEL
Published in
8 min readJan 22, 2021

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The kids of Tondo, Manila. Image: John Christian Fjellestad/Shutterstock

You can’t “learn” to stop chasing money. It’s easy to say someone should get a career rather than a job, but it’s not that simple if you’ve only ever lived in piddling poverty.

It’s a mindset I know well: I was born and raised poor in a developing country. I’ve been chasing money all my life.

Have I heard about how to chase dreams and build a career? Sure! Have I seen books and podcasts on financial literacy, investing, and wealth-building? Definitely. Have I been exposed to all those sunset images with inspirational quotes about doing what you love? Far too often.

Did these “tools” make me give up a soulless, miserable, hated job and chase my dreams? Not at all.

We can’t reduce some lessons to a simple how-to format. Despite the hardships and challenges of survival, chasing dreams requires a drastic change in mindset and belief. And the best way to change deeply rooted beliefs is through experience.

I knew I wasn’t living well. But then I had lunch with a couple of old friends. It was like bumping into my past self; I saw all the dreams I’d lost over time. How did I allow myself to become like this?

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John Pucay
LEVEL
Writer for

Author of Karinderya Love Songs; a 2020s dating and sex literary fiction novel. More details at johnpucay.com. Or https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B3WF1YF8/