Dear Level

Do Not Ask a Woman How Many Sexual Partners She’s Had

It’s none of your damn business

Aliya S. King
LEVEL
Published in
4 min readFeb 26, 2021

--

Photo illustration: Save As/Medium/Getty Images

Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.

Many years ago, I went out on a second or third date with a nice enough guy. I don’t remember his name or what he looked like. But I clearly remember why there was no fourth date.

We got to that part of the conversation where you go back and forth about… whatever. It starts with simple biographical details: college majors, first jobs, recent vacations. Then you get to the juicy stuff. Why did your last relationship end? What’s nonnegotiable in a date for you? Once the booze starts hitting, the questions tend to get more intense. Favorite place to be kissed? How long do you wait before —

And then, he got carried away.

This man looked at me and fixed his lips to ask: “So, what’s your number? You know — your body count?”

I nearly choked on my pinot grigio. “What did you just say?”

He chuckled. “I guess your number is high if you don’t want to tell me.”

At first, I thought he was asking about boyfriends. I’d dated about 5 or 6 guys at that point in my life. What did he care…

--

--