Did I Become Who I Was Meant to Be by 40?

After four tumultuous decades, I finally settled into my own skin

Jeremy Helligar
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Photos: courtesy of the author

I don’t know if life begins at 40, but I consider it the start of my sane period.

I’m now 51, but despite the occasional crazy interlude, I don’t shudder when I recall who I used to be at 40.

The 25-year-old me is practically unrecognizable both physically and mentally. No surprise there. More unexpected, though, is how little I’ve changed over the past decade — my not-so-roaring forties. Despite the myriad life experiences I’ve accumulated (living on six different continents, loving, losing, and getting married), who I am has changed a lot less than my digestive system and my feelings about sunsets.

I recently stumbled upon an old Facebook “note” from February 4, 2009, titled “25 Random Things About Me,” and I couldn’t believe how many of the things I wrote at 40 still apply. Let’s revisit:

1. I have never tasted coffee in my life. It used to be because I hated the smell. Now it’s just a thing I refuse…

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