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Dear Dr. Manhattan: F@%K You Very Much
Watchmen’s blue god obliterates the dating curve for those of us who don’t experience all of life’s moments at the same time
This is bad.
But you already know that — just as you know that this story isn’t going to end well for you. Because you’re omniscient like that.
The truth is, Dr. Manhattan, that we average and perfectly okay men wanted to like you. In the superhero-powered world of HBO’s Watchmen, you are mysterious and revered. You helped win the Vietnam War, helping the United States gain a 51st state; sure, it’s super problematic now, but seemed like a good idea at the time. You supposedly went to graze around Mars for a few decades, which also seemed like a good idea, given that the mood was shifting against all-powerful beings and masked vigilantes. You were out of sight, but not entirely out of mind — like filing taxes, or news of a global helium shortage.
But come back you did, and what was it you used your gigantic brain, tremendous body, and otherworldly powers to do? Cure cancer? Get rid of Facebook? Redesign the Tesla Cybertruck?
No. You went and wooed Angela Abar, played by Regina King, also known as our greatest national acting resource who not only has an Oscar but is also…
