The Difficult Journey of a (Formerly) Single Black Father
Or, how ten years of solo child-rearing made my beard gray
I thought I did everything right. I finished college, got married, and had two wonderful sons. Then it all changed. Thanks to my wife’s genetic disease, I was left to raise two small boys on my own.
The Tragedy
My wife suffered from sickle cell anemia, a disease affecting primarily people of color and, most often, Black people. It’s a genetic disorder that causes the body to create red blood cells that are sickle-shaped rather than spherical. Unfortunately, the abnormal cells also cause clotting, inciting painful bouts of pain — called a crisis — leading to potential tissue death and even organ failure due to areas of the body not receiving proper blood flow.
When we got married, she made it clear to me that our life together wouldn’t be a long one. At that time, the life expectancy for those with sickle cell was around 40–50 years; we were in our twenties, so that seemed like a good run. We married and then had our first son. It was a difficult pregnancy, full of nerves, a few scares, and toxemia preeclampsia, which led to an early delivery at six months via C-section. Both mom and baby recovered and were reasonably healthy, and two years later, our second boy came…
