Can Everyone Stop Being Nasty so I Don’t Die?

I’m not trying to be deceased because y’all don’t wash your hands

Michael Arceneaux
LEVEL

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Photo: David Ryder/Getty Images

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I lose a little faith in humanity every time I enter a public bathroom.

Fortunately and unfortunately, I try to go to the gym regularly in order to not die of a heart attack the way so many older Black men do. (Life in your sixties as a Black elder should consist of wearing linen suits and two-stepping near a shrimp buffet on the Tom Joyner morning cruise as Trina performs “Pull Over,” not your heart finally giving out after one too many orders of fried ribs.) That might be good for my mind and body, but not so much my belief in my fellow man. Every single time I walk into the restroom in the gym locker room, I notice not every motherfucker washes their hands before exiting. And not that it matters, but that includes people who so obviously just finished defecating.

Apparently, this is a thing among many of you dirty-ass men. As Amanda Arnold over at The Cut reminded us per a 2009 study cited by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in the institute’s online guide to the “corporate activity” of handwashing, 69% of men say they don’t wash their hands after…

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Michael Arceneaux
LEVEL

New York Times bestselling author of “I Can’t Date Jesus” and “I Don’t Want To Die Poor.”