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Are You Married to Your Mother?
An emotionally incestuous relationship ruined my marriage — don’t let it happen to you
Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.
Incest is defined as a sexual relationship between two people who are too closely related to marry, such as parents and children, siblings, or other pairs of close family members. However, during my first marriage, I learned about something called emotional or covert incest when I realized my husband’s mother also played the role of his wife. It sounds creepy because it is — but it absolutely exists.
I knew something was off — really off — when I realized that Henry’s mother, Joan, would get upset anytime he and I exhibited public displays of affection. I found it jarring when she screamed “Not in my house!” when her son gave me, his wife, a chaste kiss over Thanksgiving dinner. Though my mother-in-law and I made fast friends back when I was dating her son, I thought that maybe her feelings about me had changed since he and I got married. But I’d come to realize it wasn’t me she didn’t like; it was what I represented to her. Joan was a woman who looked at her son as her partner, confidant, and friend — qualities a woman looks for in a husband, qualities my husband and I found in each…
