Dear Level

An Extra Bedroom Could Benefit Your Marriage or Cohabitation

Forget sleeping on the couch — sometimes you just need your own space

Elisabeth Ovesen
Published in
5 min readOct 8, 2021
Photo Illustration: Save As/Medium. Source: Getty Images.

For countless relationships, casual dating eventually turns into cohabitation. A percentage of those couples find themselves married, perhaps with kids — and decades of being stuck with each other when all you really want sometimes is space and time alone.

Unfortunately, modern convention dictates that couples should sleep in the same room and — since around the late 1950s — the same bed. Before that, it was doctor-recommended that couples sleep apart so that the lighter sleeper doesn’t disturb the deeper sleeper. So, as seen in vintage TV shows and movies, husbands and wives slept in separate twin beds with a nightstand between them. Historically, wealthier couples who could afford more living space, including royalty, slept in separate rooms, chambers, or even houses.

These days, however, telling your partner you’re about to sleep in another bed or room is likely to be taken as a sign of recoil and disrespect. But, you guys, it doesn’t have to be that way! Gently introducing separate bedrooms into your relationship can be just the thing you need to keep it from becoming monotonous, unsexy, and overwhelming.

Establishing a separate bedroom isn’t about sleeping apart every night; it’s about creating a space where either one of you can go when you need to be with yourself.

Case in point: Your girl is annoying. Now, you know better than to tell her that shit, but between you, me, and the lamppost, she gets on your nerves sometimes. The way she clickety-clacks her nails after she’s just had them done. The way everything pisses her off when her period is on its way to fuck up everything, including the duvet cover. The way she incessantly clears her throat when her postnasal drip acts up every allergy season. (Oh, wait. That last one is you because you’re annoying as hell, too.)

This train goes both ways, sir. Don’t think she doesn’t notice the way you just fart all out in the open, right up under her, even when she’s eating. The way…



Elisabeth Ovesen
Writer for

3x New York Times bestselling author | Chief Creative Officer at The Ovesen Co.

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