9 Out of 10 Men Have Body Image Issues, and Covid-19’s Making Them Worse

After a life of struggling with my weight and self-esteem, I was on track. Then Covid came.

David Dennis, Jr.
LEVEL

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Photo: John M Lund Photography Inc/Getty Images

Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.

“You know you look skinny, right?” The words felt like a too-tight hug that was starting to hurt.

At the time, I was in the middle of a weight-loss journey, having lost about 40 pounds from my adult high of 250 or so. (The “or so” is because I had no idea. I’d stopped weighing myself and stupidly refused to go to the doctor until I lost weight.) I’d gone from XXXL shirts and a 38-inch waist to larges and a 34-inch waist. But I was complaining about still feeling fat. That’s when my friend used the word “skinny” — something I’d never allowed myself to feel or understand no matter how I looked.

When I was 14 years old and 260 pounds, I looked in the mirror and saw raw, rubbed-together thighs, bright red stretch marks all over, and a stomach that succumbed to Earth’s gravitational pull. When I was 18 and 160 pounds, I saw those same stretch marks, dulled from years of settling in. Instead of focusing on my bony, broad shoulders, defined cheekbones, and the subtle outline of my ribs, I…

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David Dennis, Jr.
LEVEL

Level Sr. Writer covering Race, Culture, Politics, TV, Music. Previously: The Undefeated, The Atlantic, Washington Post. Forthcoming book: The Movement Made Us