Just Rankin’ Sh!t
9 Least-Disgusting Types of Milk, Ranked
If you’re gonna down a glass of phlegm, at least drink a decent one
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9. Skim
Definitely the least least-disgusting (i.e. most disgusting) milk you can buy. If we wanted something blue and tasteless, we’d kick it with Yondu from Guardians of the Galaxy.
8. Pea
We rock with the idea of milk alternatives overall — shout out to our vegan and/or lactose-intolerant fam — but no one should ever have to say the phrase “Could I get that with pea milk?” out loud.
7. Coconut
Delicious for cooking. We see someone drinking coconut milk, though? We’re running. You don’t want to be there when the laughter stops.
6. Rice
Rice milk ain’t doing a damn thing for you. It’s not creamy, it’s got no protein or calcium, and it somehow tastes like literally nothing. If it wasn’t for horchata, it’d be languishing somewhere south of skim on this list.
