Just Rankin’ Sh!t
9 Anthems That Slap Harder Than ‘The Star-Spangled Banner,’ Ranked
It takes more than gleaming and ramparts to make a song a classic
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9. “O Canada”
As far as national anthems you’ll hear in an NBA arena — hopefully in 2021 — we’re gonna go with the one that’s been amended to be gender-neutral and, uh, wasn’t written by an avowed slavery apologist.
8. “POV City Anthem,” Cadillac Tah
Years before dudes started snappin’ to “Laffy Taffy” and hopping around mom dukes’ living room to Soulja Boy, this all-but-forgotten Murder Inc. pioneer jumped on a damn polyphonic, two-way pager loop and birthed literal ringtone rap. Salute!
7. “Party Rock Anthem,” LMFAO featuring Lauren Bennett and GoonRock
While this may have been the most annoying earworm of 2011, the frenetic breakdown is still unfuckwithable. (Plus, nowhere in “The Star-Spangled Banner” did Francis Scott Key mention moving booty weight.)
6. “Uptown Anthem,” Naughty By Nature
To quote Dave Chappelle as Samuel L. Jackson, “Juice! That was a good one!” And Ernest Dickerson’s 1992 classic didn’t just give us Tupac’s first heel turn and one of the least cringey DJ battles ever committed to celluloid — it gave us a soundtrack featuring Treach at the height of his rapid-fire powers. With a Tupac cameo in the video, obviously.
5. “Dipset Anthem,” The Diplomats featuring Cam’ron and Juelz Santana
Because you just can’t resist hitting a virtually horizontal bob and lean once the beat drops. Because “Okay, okay, okay/Y’all can’t fuck with me, no way” is a rallying cry that matches uniquely American machismo with hood hubris. Because Dipset is forever. We really mean it. (Aye!)
