Just Rankin’ Sh!t

7 Ice Cream Flavors That Should Be Illegal, Ranked

Step away from the freezer, people!

Photo Illustration: Save As/Medium; Source: Getty Images

7. Butter pecan

An integral part of an iconic hip-hop hook? Yes, indeed. A top-tier ice cream flavor? Not even close. If the only way you can describe the taste of something is “tan,” best to keep it pushing.

6. Cookie dough

Yeah, we said it. We meant it, too. Enjoy your uncooked dough, savages! (Look, if you’re not willing to let the yopper spray, don’t be out here making lists.)

5. Strawberry cheesecake

The main philosophical question you have to ask yourself about ice cream is: Does being in the form of a frozen dairy dessert make these flavors as good as or better than they would be normally? And here, the answer is an emphatic no. Twice.

4. Butterscotch

If your auntie had it as a hard candy in her purse, it shouldn’t be an ice cream. Sorry, them’s the rules.

3. Tutti frutti

Candied citrus peel? Really? Call it whatever you want, but that shit is just milky fruitcake. Unless we’re somehow both suffering from scurvy and not debilitatingly lactose-intolerant, you can miss us with this monstrosity.

2. Cherry Garcia

Ben and Jerry have done a lot of things right, but this — turning the worst variety of pie into an ice cream and then naming it after the leader of the original (shudder) jam band — is not one of them. Rest in power and all, but damn.

1. Rum raisin

You already know.

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