Dear Level

6 Red Flags in the Bedroom That Send Women Running

Giving “full mast” a whole new meaning

Elisabeth Ovesen | NYT Bestselling Author
Published in
5 min readOct 22, 2021


Photo Illustration: Save As/Medium. Source: Getty Images.

Sex is a love language. Carnal conversation. How you operate in the bedroom can say a lot about who you are in other respects. So… how’s your native tongue?

You may not realize the coital cues you’re giving and how they might be interpreted. But, I assure you, women’s antennae are perked. How you put it down can determine whether she’ll pick up and move on to someone new. It can be the difference between connecting like Bluetooth or having your number deleted by week’s end.

News flash, buddy: Women are not drive-throughs.

Ever feel confused after walking away from a sexual encounter thinking you just planted your flag, only to see her pledge allegiance to someone else’s? Well, the problem is that flag you planted was likely the same color as the Kool-Aid Man. With the meme having taken over social media, below I’ve listed six red flags that are apparent in the bedroom. The translation: Step your game up if you see yourself.

You don’t ask if she’s being satisfied

Fellas, if you’re not checking in with your lover during sex — especially if she’s showing signs of discomfort or displeasure — you’re either not paying attention or don’t care. Both are flags on the play, liable to get you dumped or denied in the future. One of the ickiest feelings in a relationship, even a casual one, is to roll over after sex feeling like a “fifi bag,” which is prison terminology for something a man uses to pleasure himself hands-free, known on the outside as a stroker. (Don’t worry about how I know this. This is about you, not me!)

For the selfish lovers out there, pay attention! Actually give a damn whether she orgasms. Ask your partner if she’s comfortable, if it feels good, or if she’d like you to stop. And then proceed accordingly, lest you run the risk of turning her off completely.

You rush through sex

Got a plane to catch? If not, slow your jackrabbit ass down. It’s easy to tell when sex is just a means to an end — when either participant (especially the man) is speeding…



Elisabeth Ovesen | NYT Bestselling Author
Writer for

3x New York Times Bestselling Author | 'The House of Ill Repute (Kensington Publishing, 2024)