Just Rankin’ Sh!t

6 Holidays Black People Refuse to Celebrate, Ranked

Not even a day off work is worth commemorating these travesties

LEVEL Editors
Published in
2 min readFeb 16, 2021


Photo: RiverNorthPhotography/Getty Images

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6. July 4

We’re not gonna go full Frederick Douglass on you right now, but trust that the most you’ll get out of Black people for “Independence Day” is some love for fireworks. Celebrating freedom in the same country with a prison-industrial complex? Might need to wait for July 34th for that to happen.

5. St. Patrick’s Day

Any holiday that encourages debauchery is skating on thin ice, but when the debauchery is this unrelentingly Caucasian, there’s no point in even debating it. Turning beer green is only the beginning of the grossness, which invariably ends in city streets that look like a Roman purgatorium. We’re good on performative chugging, racist chants, and unprovoked property damage, thanks.

4. Columbus Day

Rebranding it to Indigenous People’s Day is all well and good, but that’s not gonna stop anyone with a shred of Genoan ancestry from venerating this violent doofus who couldn’t even find his way to…