5 Ways to Make the NBA Bubble Feel More Normal, Ranked
The season — such as it is — resumes today. We’ve got some ideas how to make it better
5. Make the Ms. Pac-Man machines Boban-sized
Serbia may not have had cutting-edge video games when the Mavs center was a kid, but if you’re gonna give him nothing but 8-bit throwbacks to play with, at least supersize them so he doesn’t look like Billy Madison sitting at a third-grade desk.
4. Slow down the murderous robo-cams
Remember in the Before Times, when the murderous robo-cams only roamed the sideline at a leisurely amble?
3. Enact a testing regimen for flewed-out guests
How else are players supposed to make terrible decisions?
2. Let Magic City cater the meals
If the wings from the famed ATL strip club are so magical they landed Lou Williams back in quarantine, they’ve gotta be better than the sack lunches that the Lakers were so upset about. Maybe this’ll stop Richaun Holmes from incurring his mama’s wrath again.
1. Accept the fact that the bubble’s not going anywhere
According to an ESPN interview with National Basketball Players Association executive director Michele Roberts, there’s a very good chance that next season looks a lot like this one. Eighty-two games of pro scrimmages. Fantastic!