Just Rankin’ Sh!t

5 Unhealthy Foods That Are Marketed as Healthy, Ranked

Eat your heart out

LEVEL Editors
LEVEL
Published in
2 min readJan 22, 2021

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5. Samosas

Health nuts love to chow down on Indian cuisine, presumably due to the wealth of vegetable options available. But these are basically glorified french fries with an added dose of refined flour to spike that insulin. (Free tip: Make sure you get some dal somewhere in the meal to temper that part.)

4. Fake-meat burgers

Hint: Anything with “burger” in its title is a dub. Sure, these qualify as vegan, but don’t sleep on the copious amounts of coconut oil and sodium in Beyond and Impossible burgers — or the fact that anything highly processed presents its own nutritional drawbacks.

3. McDonald’s Caesar salad

Iceberg lettuce has the nutritional value of a sheet of looseleaf. Not to mention the bacon bits topping, some bullshit high-fructose-corn-syrup-powered dressing, and, oh yeah, more calories than a Big Mac. We’re not lovin’ it.

2. Subway sandwiches

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