Just Rankin’ Sh!t
5 Things Your Kid Definitely Doesn’t Want for Christmas, Ranked
With holiday shopping season in full gear, you don’t want to fall for these non-wishlist traps
Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.
5. Team Jordan sneakers
It happens every year: A pair of Air Jordan sneakers hits the market, sending kids into a frenzy to get their hands on them. Those same kids get their asses handed to them by the Nike SNKRS app. (So do adults.) But there’s always a well-meaning relative who tries to step in and save the day by buying a widely available, and affordable, pair of Team Jordan variants. Don’t set lil’ buddy up for a rotisserie roasting once he returns to IRL schooling.
4. A Republican-controlled Senate
Your kids’ futures are on the ballot in Georgia just a few days after Christmas. Getting Mitch McConnell — one of the world’s most evil turkey necks — out of power in honor of Jesus’ birthday seems like a gift made in heaven. (In contrast, if Loeffler and Perdue win, we’ll have a real-life Cobra villain ruining things for multiple generations of your progeny.) No pressure, Georgia!
