Dear Level

5 Things Men Do After Sex That Women Love

A guide to not fumbling the bag

Elisabeth Ovesen | NYT Bestselling Author
Published in
5 min readSep 27, 2021
Photo illustration: Save As/Medium. Source: Getty Images

Whether it happens on the first date, after marriage, or any time in between, the first time you have sex with the woman you’ve been dating is a momentous occasion. It’s a moment that should be approached with an overwhelming display of curiosity, care, and concern for how both of you feel before, during, and after sex.

Your first time together can be erotic and lusty, but it can also be awkward and uncomfortable. How you treat each other after your first encounter is especially important, as it will set the tone for your relationship and sexual experiences moving forward.

Unfortunately, some men become so focused on their dribble that they forget all about the follow-through on the shot — that all-too-important flick of the wrist that assures they’ll earn points on the board. Many men fail to realize that, for women, sex often isn’t the sole objective. It isn’t the end-all-be-all of the relationship, whether casual or committed.

Women want deeper connections, even with their side pieces and fuckboys. Sure, we have the same sexual urges as men, but without emotional and mental stimulation, bomb dick can quickly turn into trash cock. A woman can love having sex with you on Monday, but be disgusted by your penis come Thursday, all because you didn’t support her emotional needs. If you want to stay on a woman’s good side, incorporate these supportive follow-through methods after your first time together — and every time after that.

1. Give a full-service cleanup

Directly after sex, cater to her. More specifically, don’t make her get up for the rag. You know which one I’m talking about: the washcloth you rinse in warm water and maybe a little soap to help clean your naughty bits and hers. Get your ass up and get it yourself. And use a clean washcloth, for fuck’s sake.

Make sure the water isn’t tepid or scalding hot. It should be warm enough to soothe but not hot enough to burn her delicate skin. Consider this a mini spa treatment for her privates. Be gentle. Lay the washcloth on the area and gently press it into her skin, allowing her time to enjoy the light steam. Then, gently wipe and…



Elisabeth Ovesen | NYT Bestselling Author
Writer for

3x New York Times Bestselling Author | 'The House of Ill Repute (Kensington Publishing, 2024)