Just Rankin’ Sh!t
5 People Who Definitely Shouldn’t Get a Ben & Jerry’s Flavor, Ranked
Shout out to Kap, but not everyone needs an ice cream named after them!
Published in
2 min readDec 11, 2020
Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.
5. Dr. Umar Johnson (Ho-Ho-Hotep Holiday Kufi Krispies)
There’s only one Wise Man in this nativity tale, and he’s bringing frankincense, myrrh, and cold hard truths. We’re sorry, but this flavor is only for Black people. No disrespect, but you must be Black to crack this pint. It is not open to anybody but Black people.
4. Nate Robinson (Knockout Nougat Parfait)
You get it home, excited for something that promises to punch above its weight class… only to find a lumped-up morsel lying at the bottom of the container, smothered by what seems to be unsweetened plain frozen yogurt. Let’s just agree never to speak of this again.
3. Boosie (Badazzberry Binary Delight)
This flavor’s got everything — well, it’s really got only two things. And an open mind ain’t one of ’em.
