Your sweet pea’s conditioner is probably the most accessible product in the shower caddy. If it’s in a big-ass bottle, pump a few globs of that sweet nectar and moisturize your situation after washing. Your partner will be none the wiser.
If you’re venturing beyond the safe confines of a dark Caesar, a Slinky-like curl pattern is the perfect texture. Drop a dollop of that luscious cream, then treat your scalp like a turntable, applying the product to your strands in circular motions.
Dunking head-first into the sink is for savages. There’s no need to clog your drain just to dampen your mane. Instead, rinse and reuse your darling’s plastic spray bottles; fill them with water and oils (more on those in a bit) to disperse optimal moisture. Leave the drip for your outfit.
Now we’re getting advanced: Using your better half’s oils requires awareness of your own hair needs and a long-term game plan. Stunted follicles? Jack the Jamaican castor oil. Can’t retain moisture? Go for the jojoba. For essential oils (tea tree is an OG), just a few drops mixed with a more generous pouring of a carrier oil (like coconut) will help you glow up from your chin to your crown.
Silk scarf or bonnet
You can’t really go stealth with this one. And fair warning that asking your partner to come up off their silk may induce eye-rolling, but stand strong. Real men rock bonnets — and the resulting curl pattern is unfuckwittable.