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JUST RANKIN’ SH!T
5 Debates the Fly on Mike Pence’s Head Might Have Enjoyed More, Ranked
When you’re the only buzz of the night, you gotta take your talents elsewhere
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5. Lincoln vs. Douglas, 1858
No moderator, no interruptions, no cameras. Just nine separate three-hour debates that drew crowds from across Illinois to hear the would-be senators spit fire. (For real: each candidate spoke for an hour, then each got 90 minutes to rebut the other, then each got a 30-minute closer.) We don’t even know if a fly can live 27 hours, let alone get from Springfield to Chicago, but if it could catch a ride in Stephen Douglas’ neck folds or something? LEGEND.
4. Obama vs. McCain, 2008
Granted, a debate’s not a speech, but damned if listening to 44 wax extemporaneous wouldn’t have inspired that fly to dive-bomb into John McCain’s eye, just to juice the odds a bit.
3. Jay-Z vs. Nas, eternal
The most heated debate in America didn’t go down at lecterns in an auditorium somewhere—it happened in pre-Covid-19…
