Just Rankin’ Sh!t
4 Dr. Seuss Books We’d Love to Read in 2021, Ranked
Pour a little out for the diggy-diggy-Doc, y’all
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4. “Karen Korvaller, the Manager-Kaller”
In this tale of a coffee run gone wrong, readers meet a disgruntled patron who just can’t leave well enough alone: “And she took a deep breath and she puffed out her bangs/and she yelled with a growl like a White Clubber Lang/pointing one pudgy finger that was covered in jewels/‘I SAID THREE PUMPS OF BIRTHDAY CAKE SYRUP, YOU FOOLS!’”
3. “And to Think That I Saw It on OnlyFans Street”
After a middle school student borrows his father’s smartphone, he stumbles upon the adult subscription service — and promptly regales his friends at school with the saga of what he witnessed: “Well, Tammy Tarturken was dancin’ and twerkin’/A guy called Ralph Wig ’Em was modeling merkins/Some lady in draws said her name was Ripe Roz/If I tipped her, she said that she’d send me her bras!” A homage to Seuss’ very first title that you won’t want to miss.
