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Just Rankin’ Sh!t

10 Things White People Love Posing As, Ranked

Who needs a Halloween costume when you’re constantly in character?

2 min readOct 27, 2020

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Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.

10. Victims of cancel culture

White people love pretending that they are just walking around in between moments of cancelation. They’re either about to be canceled or just got canceled — both of which ignore the fact that they’ll be enjoying the rest of their lives consequence-free.

9. Undecided voters

These facades are the easiest to see through, obviously. We know exactly what you mean and what you’re going to do. Stop wasting our time.

8. Oppressed

Why don’t they just dress up as the First Amendment with a bunch of footprints? Remember, inconvenience is SLAVERY!

7. Traffic officers

There’s nothing White people love more than jumping in front of traffic and directing it. If there’s a fender bender or an old lady with a sprained ankle in the middle of the road, there’s always a Civil Engineer Stu who jumps out of the bushes and starts…

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